Im feeling really down, need someone to cheer me up

Am really bummed now .

Sitting there with coffee at hand, I am doing nothing. I am not doing anything now . I'm lost.
I don't know what to do .
I can honestly say I do not understand myself.

I do not know what I want.

Is there anyone i can talk to? Why couldn't i say what i feel ? Why i can only keep everything in my heart and letting myself down .

It's so unfair to me.
Is there anyone can borrow me their ears and shoulder ?
I don't know and don't even dare to think about it.
Who can be trusted ? I wonder .

I look at how some people can be so oblivious.
Even I'm going through a rough patch, I wouldn't give up my life for someone else's any other day.

I want to go back to before. when I didn't think this much, when all I
had to worry about is whether I have did the right things . Dejected,
how much we could have.

I'm not stupid

Hey guys .
I'm okay now. (:
I felt much better now and i didn't show people with my sad face already.

I'm not stupid, i know that.
I'm a tough girl no matter what.
I realized everytime I go through a rough patch, it's like I get stupider.
And i don't want to be STUPID!

Actually,
I can forgive and forget easily .
It sucks pretty bad when I found out I was lied to.
and I've said this before, it's okay if you break my heart, it's okay if you inflict pain upon my flesh, I'll forgive you one day.

And now I wouldn't put my trust in people called Friends anymore.

and then there were the heartbreaks.

I want to believe in people so badly.

I trust people because I think everyone deserves a chance and I do not want to be judgmental.

But now, i will never be the same again.

If you ever, ever lie to me, I will never, ever forget you even if I want to.

I will not like to fall prey into your lines and adorable looks again.

So I remember, and I will not be your friend.

You can say that i'm a selfish person , i don't mind.

I just wanna protect myself from lies and hurts .

Friends come and go and how I wish they didn't because it's so hard to find someone I could really talk to.

I wish i can find a friend who i could really talk to whenever I have my heart broken.

I become worse in expressing myself .